You can't special order awesome
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she told me i tasted like america
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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