i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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