Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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