Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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