Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
