I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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