both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They are going to name an STD after you.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
