that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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