My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
