she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
