Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
