Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
