thus making me awesome and them whores
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
