His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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