That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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