it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
