Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My vagina just recognized that song.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
