I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
