just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
