I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
