I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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