I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
