Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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