I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
