so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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