Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
