remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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