Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
