Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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