I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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