Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
