So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
