im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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