Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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