DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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