i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
