holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
