We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
