felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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