If that was your dad, he is hot
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
