Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
