I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
