This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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