did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
