That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
