Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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