I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
