she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
