Whod you bang
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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