best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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