yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
