stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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