We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
